covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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