Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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