Cold hands, warm shart.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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