My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
...so i touched it.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
