thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
