You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize