If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize