I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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