He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize
