I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Randomize