I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
