i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
