nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
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