Is it because I queefed?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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