yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
These tits shall not be calmed
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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