Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
