Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
