I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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