Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
