okay pat passed out under dana's car
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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