JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
