Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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