Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
