don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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