Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
