I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
