i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
This show inspires me to have sex in space
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
