Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
