out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
