What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
