I cannot find my penis.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
