that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I need a burrito and a hug.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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