I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
