Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
How does one acquire holy water?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
