My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
