allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
