question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
