And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
