If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
