I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
