Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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