What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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