Will you blow on my dice?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
