So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Randomize
