I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize