I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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