what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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