So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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