Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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