I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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