Will you blow on my dice?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
