Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
