sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
even my farts smell like vagina
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize