You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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