I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I know her cup size but not her name....
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
