Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
