Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
