Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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