remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
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