That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
