she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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