Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
