Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
