I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
he quoted the bible to break up with me
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Randomize