At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Randomize