I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
