Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Did I show you my penis last night?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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