I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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