he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
