Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i barfeds in our rink
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
