I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
