Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
