I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Everclear isn't food dammit
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Randomize
