I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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