Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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